Thought it might be fun to keep you all involved in our DTS via this blog….but we all know how well my 100 day challenged went. Speaking of the 100 day challenge I decided to start over once again…I’m technically on day 4.
So Today was the very first day our newest Discipleship Training School. 2 Weeks ago we were expecting 8 students…but they whittled themselves down and so we start with only 5. It is a small school, but so far it seems like a pretty good fit. We have one married couple in their early 20’s- Mitch and Jana; three single gals all 18-20 (I think) Kate, Juanita and Jordan. I think they will all connect really well.
It is funny but nervousness’ did not really hit strongly till this morning. And then I was just hit with this terror, “what have I got myself into?”. I just feel so unqualified to staff and lead this school. But then I was reminded of a quote God gave me in one of those many 100 day seasons (that I have yet to complete) but anyhow God reminded me of a sentence I wrote down once about how I am a natural leader and I have a lot to give. It was encouraging and I spoke it out loud over myself this morning. God has given me the ability to lead, to teach to love people…right now this group are strangers to me…so it is hard to imagine myself being at ease…but soon they will be MY team, and the Momma bear side of me will come out. My prayer is that God will help me to always see them through His eyes, love them, encourage them and speak life into each of them!
Naturally I am a quiet, shy and reserved person. I’m 100% comfortable being alone and am self entertained….It is a stretch for me to go hang out with people just for the fun of it. To go join in on conversations, to be upfront. So after getting up at 5:15 to go work out at 5:30, spending all day in long days of meetings all I really wanted to do was go hole up in my room, maybe watch a movie. I looked out to see most the girls grooming horses and I knew I really ought to go hang out instead. (Until we know peoples experience level, we don’t want them ridding without certain staff present). After an hour or so the guys rejoined the group along with Joe (Local deputy Sherriff who has taken charge of our horsemanship program) Anyhow Joe start showing one of the girls how to work her horse in the round pen. Before long we are all gathered around watching, listening as he is explaining what he is doing.
This horse was decently well trained…but he found as he pushed her around the round pen that she was more than willing to give him her left side but she resisted giving him her right. That is actually pretty common when you consider we do most everything from the left of a horse. Catch and halter them, saddle and get on and off from the left. She was good natured and willing to do anything he asked of her as long as he stayed on her left side…but she was uncomfortable with him on the right. She kept resisting. Joe mentioned that really he only had half a horse if she only gave hi the left side and he was going to keep pushing till she gave him both sides.
It kind of reminded me of myself …I was used to being my own boss pretty early on and do not like to be told what to do. As long as it was my idea or my terms then I was more than happy to go along with people…but as soon as it infringed on my personal space, my plans or my preferences than I’m not liking it!!! As a kid I would get it in my head I ought to clean my room, but as soon as my mom would tell me I needed to clean my room then I would refuse to do it!
I think we are that way with God too. God I will do anything! I will follow you anywhere. Lord I will lay down anything that hinders me in my walk with YOU….Wait Lord, don’t go there, don’t touch that part of my life, don’t ask me to give up that! I will go anywhere, do anything but that or go there! Are we giving God just half of us, or do we only relate to God and others when we can relate on our terms…you’re welcome on my left side, but stay off my right!
