So I have been thinking about this a lot lately!
Easter came and went just a few weeks ago. During the week preceding Easter I like to read the accounts of what happened during the “Holy Week”. If possible I like to attend or even host a seder meal with friends and family. These practices help me to really reflect on the significance and transforming power of all the Jesus did for me in going to the cross.
I often marvel at all that happens on the night Jesus and His disciples celebrated the last supper. (John 13-18.) John 13-17 is part of a selection of passages that I have often taken weeks to months to read, re-read and meditate, and re-read again. There is so much meat in those short few chapters. These were Jesus’ last words to His closest friends and loved one. This was Him passing on all He knew His followers would need to know after He was gone. You know how in a movie when some one is dying people draw near so as not to miss a single syllable of the dying man’s last utterances.
Admittedly His followers did not fully grasp that Jesus was essentially saying goodbye and preparing them to go on with out Him in the physical sense. They had no idea as he taught during that last weeks, or conversed over that final meal, or as they walked and talked on their way to the garden of Gethsemane that by tomorrow this time Jesus would be dead. When He poured out His heart to God and they struggled to stay awake they had no concept that this would be their last chance to pray with their friend who was closer then a brother, their honored Teacher, Lord and Savior.
But we do have that perspective. We know what happened after Jesus got up from His time with God, we know how He was betrayed by Judas, one of His own. We know how the ever confident Peter would soon deny he had ever even met the Lord. How 11 of His 12 would flee and hide in terror for their own lives, letting themselves get buried under fear, confusion and dread. How one in shame and guilt would take his very life feeling their was no possible return from his failures. We read these passages from the perspective of knowing what was about to happen. And what has happened since.
I just cant shake the realization that Jesus, who was God in the flesh, went through that last night with His 12 knowing who would betray Him, who would deny Him and who would fall away and loose hope even momentarily. He knew who would doubt His promises and would retreat and hide. Yet what does He do? He draws closer to the 12. He opens His heart even wider letting them all in even more then they already were. He commits and covenants Himself to their relationship on an even deeper level then ever before. He loved Peter, even though He already knew that with in a few hours Peter would be swearing that he had NEVER known Jesus. He loved John and let Him rest upon His chest even knowing that in just a few hours time when Jesus would need a friends the most John would desert Him in the very valley of decision, choosing the comfort of sleep over comforting Jesus whose heart was in deep anguish. He loved Judas deeply, even knowing that Judas would soon betray Him with a kiss. He gave His heart even more fully to each and everyone of His followers, knowing that most would not be with Him in His human hour of need.
How do we respond when others fail us, let us down, or purposefully seek to destroy us? We get angry and offended, we rage and war, we distance ourselves and put up walls. We back away to protect our hearts.
Arent you grateful that Christ is not like Human lovers and friends. Even knowing how deeply we will fail He draws closer to us!!! He bares His heart and gives us the opportunity to choose to love or strike Him. He shows His vulnerability. He keeps His connection with us as His priority!!!
We are often the first glimpse people get of Father God. How we respond can draw people closer to the Truth and Love of Christ or push them even further away.
