Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Cultivating Intimacy




We were created, designed for Friendship with God.

He loves and longs for me.  He is always pursuing me.  But I have a part to play in this relationship too.  It is my responsibility to respond by opening the door and Cultivating Intimacy.

Love Him, Get to know Him, spend time in His Word, in Prayer and in Worship.  Sit at His fee and learn to enjoy His presence.

Genesis 3:8; Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Psalm 47:1-2 , Ps 46:10, 55:16-17, 63:1-8; 73:25-26; Luke 10:38-42; John 8:31 and Revelation 3:20

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

How an Alaskan Road Trip with the Circuit Riders Influenced my Life & Ministry

I had never seen anything quite like it, and to this day I still haven’t.  For me it was a life changing experience!!!  

During the late August, September and possibly a little of Oct of 201l??? It was prior to my owning a smart phone so I have few pictures. and right before I traveled to Wyoming in Oct.  

Anyhow I got the opportunity to travel along the road system of Alaska ministering in churches, youth groups, Wal-Mart parking lots and a village. This was a group of 25? people most of them in their early 20’s but their was really quite an age diversity. This group sent out from Kona Hawaii had done the very first school of the Circuit Riders.  They had spent the last 6 weeks or so, in an environment that feeds and inspires faith, boldness and passion.  The school at is close had divided into several groups that were going around the US to preach Jesus and the simple gospel.  This particular team had come to Alaska.  

One of the students in that school had recently done his DTS and come on staff with the YWAM base I worked with in Homer AK.  The team needed to borrow one of our ministry van’s and a driver to go along with it.  Aaron the student of the school called me and asked me to be that volunteer driver and see if I could convince some of our fellow staff to come along.


So a handful of us from the Homer base drove up to Fairbanks, AK to meet up with the Circuit Riders.   We had not taken the school or shared in the bonding experience's this team had already shared in their lecture phase, but we were never treated like outsiders.  We were warmly and fully welcomed into this this band of fiery evangelists.  Having been a part of a lot of teams and schools over the years I was really impressed with the family feel of this particular team.  No doubt it had a lot to do with their incredible leaders Tom and Donna Cole who sort of adopted the whole clan into their family for the season.  We would gather in the massive living room of the lodge we stayed in and visit and pray.  It had such a loving feel of kinship. 

 This group was some of the boldest, hungriest passionate teams I had ever been around.  This trip was by far one of the most fruitful outreaches I had ever been on.  I don’t recall how many people accepted Jesus or received emotional or physical healing in prayer.  It seemed daily there were multiple stories of How God moved on hearts.  What I do recall is the times you don’t expect deep ministry.  

Like making a grocery run to Walmart, the leaders were shopping for necessities the students were given a short amount of time to get what they wanted.  Coming out to the van after shopping I look out into the parking lot and see three different gathering of Circuit riders praying over an individual or family.  I had actually seen the same thing a time or two in the store.   One group stood just outside the van so I stepped into the circle to meet the native couple my team was ministering to.  A man named Moses was weeping as my friends spoke life over him and his wife.

Another glimpse that stood out was when after weeks of travel and ministry we decided to take a day off, a much needed rest.  We drove our many vans to Chena Hot springs just outside of Fairbanks.  It was fun.  The weather was cool and crisp though I don’t think we had seen any snow just yet, but we were soaking in a natural hot springs during the evening hours and stayed to watch the Northern Lights with a room full of Japanese tourists.  Yet on that day off 3 people got saved and at-least one was baptized.

 
I never could pinpoint why that team was so different, then others I have known, why they seemed to be more eager to step out and why they were blessed with not only fruitfulness but favor at every turn!  I knew leaving that experience I wanted to be more passionate and bold with my faith.  I wanted to encourage that family feel in the teams I lead or was a part of.   And I wanted to give room and  encourage others around me to step out in in radical obedience to the things they felt God leading them towards even if it did not fit with my plan.  I may not have these skills perfected but I have seen good fruit from my resolve in these areas.

During the outreach one of the co-leaders of the team, a good friend of mine and adopted Big Brother would take the time to sit with "my team" from Homer and talk about some of the things God had taught them during the Circuit Rider School.  So we were able to get some of the teaching the others had had. (Later 3 of us went to Kansas City with one of the AK DTS teams to do our own Circuit Rider School).   I kept his folder of notes and books while we traveled so that even when we did not find time to meet as smaller team I was able to still go through the material on my own.  I wanted to glean all I could.  So I would get up early for a quiet time and then turn to this notebook and see what stood out to me.  In the  left side cover of this white folder jammed with a notebook, handouts and some booklets stood a print off.  I think it may have been a list of values for the school??   It was a downward list of one-liners things like
Cultivate Intimacy
It is Always, All about Jesus!
Radical Obedience
Destroy the Little Foxes and be quick to Joyfully Repent
Speak with Purity
Create an Atmosphere, and live out a Culture of Honor, Trust and Love
Reach the Lost, Revive the Saved, Disciple them All!!

I don’t recall how many were on that sheet, but they caught my attention and my imagination.  Jotting them down in a notebook I kept meditating on that list through out our travels.  After I got home I transferred them to my laptop and began finding verses to support each value.  Over the last several years I dropped a few off their list that just didn’t hit me the same as the rest and I have added a few of my own (and dropped some of my own too).  I no longer remember which ones were theirs, and which were mine as this List of Values has become my own.  It is how I seek to live every day of my life, how I want to carry myself in every relationship and moment. It has become habit over the last 5-6 years to meditate and pray through this list regularly, evaluating if I am walking it out and resolving to do better. Leading Schools and sharing messages I have Incorporated them into my messages and I have even used this list as a “contract” to challenge, encourage and inspire every team I have led.  In the last “hard season” I have gone back over them often wrestling with the ones I was no longer walking out and even added to them or deepened them in meaning and understanding.  Over the next few weeks I plan to share them with you though if I can figure out how to video tape them I would rather share them via talking or pacing as I tend to do when I get worked up :-)

If we could really live out scripture in our life, walk it out perfectly then this is what it means to me to truly walk out the concept of “Loving the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves.”

I have always kept this list of values broken up under those three categories.

Loving God
1.  Cultivate Intimacy
2. It’s Always, All about Jesus
3. Passionate Worship and Engaged Intercession
4. Be Thankful!  Have an Attitude of Gratitude
5. Radical Obedience
6. Ridiculous Faith - Completely Trust in Him and His Word
7.  Walk in Wholehearted Unbroken Communion With God
8. Destroy the Little Foxes and Be Quick to Joyfully Repent

Love your Neighbor

9.  Believe the Best
10. Create and Atmosphere & live out a Culture of Honor, Trust and Love
11. Honor and Submit to Leaders as Unto the Lord
12. Give Others the Grace and Freedom to Fail
13. Be-Unoffendable and Remain Tender-Hearted
(Be Quick to Forgive- Even Without an Apology!)
14. Confront in Love and According to Scripture
15. Speak with Purity
16. Serve Unreservedly & Put Others First
17. Reach the Lost, Revive the Saved & Disciple Them All!!!

As Yourself

18.  Keep God First
19. Owe No Man Anything but Love
20. Your Body is the Temple of the Living God
21. Live Above Reproach
22. Live Authentically - Be Real/Be Transparent and Keep your Walls Down
23. Speak Life, Speak Truth, Confess the Word
24. Be Teachable, Humble and Approachable
25. Develop Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faith-fullness, Gentleness and Self Control.



Worshipping in the midst of the Alaska State fair


Sunday, February 12, 2017

Just Catching Up



Primarily my goal is to use this blog to encourage, inspire and even tell some funny but applicable stories.   However there will be times like this one...where I am just catching people up on my life, my plans etc. 

I'm a little in awe and slightly confused and terrified of how many people have read this page.  When I started this (living in Turkey) maybe 7-15 people ever read anything I posted.  Really I did not do much with it, it was just a way to keep in touch.    The other day when I felt like I should write on here again and try to use this as a tool that ideally encourages people the first post was read 43 times, the second 60 and the most recent over  a 100 times.   (I only figured out how to tell if people read it the other day) where and who are the other 90 people?  I have even had people I don't know write and say thanks or friend me on facebook.  So to all you folks I don't know as well, thanks for reading and this one is more an informational update so feel free to skip it.  :-).  To those who have been standing with me and praying the last few months this will ideally catch you up...atleast as far as I can catch you up/ 

I realize it has been awhile since I put together an update.  Last I really communicated via Facebook I was still in Wyoming though I had plans to spend the winter and spring months with my mom in SD.

Over the fall and winter months I had been fighting some “bug” of sorts and had been coughing since August, had my body start going haywire in the fall months and had been exhausted, like inexplicably tired all the time by December.  In those last few weeks in Nov and Dec I was trying to find help with a doctor and getting them to run some tests…but I never did tell you what they found.

That would be because we didn’t find anything????   Thyroid was fine (though you can pray I can pay for it cause the bill came back several hundred higher then I anticipated!!)   I was a bit anemic but that was to be expected after 54 days of struggling with the same issue I dealt with for 81 days while living in Turkey -7 years ago.  At least it was not 12 years like the woman found in Luke 8:43-47.  On top of all that as I was packing I found moisture had snuck into my cookbooks that sat on my kitchen counter covering the bottom sides of many the less used ones with black mold.  I already knew I was allergic to black mold from a past season of migraines, exhaustion and a chest cold that kept getting worse...so perhaps I should have gone mold hunting sooner!.  So I threw the books out…(or atleast most of them…it was found the last day or so of packing and some foolishly landed in my “for storage box” cause I was in a hurry!!.

I figure in part living with mold probably had to do with the exhaustion, respritory issues etc and such of the last few months.  I also suspect the hormone imbalance I have dealt with since puberty (though only knew about since Turkey) flared up causing the the 54 days of yuck due to my second extended fast of the year.
  
I don’t blame the fasting, cause I know Fasting is a great spiritual discipline that also has incredible health benefits.  I do blame my inexperience in how close together one should or should NOT attempt 40 day fasts.  I have recently learned that most experts in fasting advise that you wait at-least 6 months to a year between doing extended fasts (anything over 21 days).  Otherwise you sort of send your body into panic mode.  I had spent quite a few days since the fall of 2015 fasting and praying and even went 21 and 30 days in extended fasting only a short 4 months apart.  It was actually during that last fast that my body quit doing things it should do…and then when it did kick in it just wouldn't stop.   More about the cool things that came out of this past year or two of seeking God in coming weeks or months.

In the meantime I am taking birth control pills to retrain my body to function normally each month. After a few months I plan to go back off of them, cause that is a chemical I really don’t want in my system.  Besides if God blesses me with a husband in the next few years I hope for a  "honey moon pregnancy"!  I may have to give up my desire for 6-8 kids but I can still pray for twins!!  

Physically I am still often tired, but not anything like I was, and the cough has lifted completly…so I guess I am hoping it will just take time for my body to detox, and I will be back to my mischevious self!!!

 I am also trying to eat in such a way that my body can free itself from the symptoms of PCOS.  I have learned a lot in the last few months something I wish I had known from Turkey onward…but that is what happens when you have to get a diagnosis in another language.    I already rarely eat grains, but I have cut them out even more, and am working on cutting out dairy and sugar…which is a harder sacrifice!!! I tried Paleo and only lasted a week. Pray for me in this journey to reclaim my energy and to find health. 

It was while trying to get my body particularly my hormones to line up and work right I was doing research trying to find something not chemical based pill to step in and help.  I kept coming across articles suggesting different foods, herbs, supplements and in particular essential oils.  I even took a weekend class on the topic.  Oils being very expensive were not something I could afford at that time (or at this time), but I could see their benefits, and knew I wanted to learn more.  I even asked God to open up that door of opportunity.  Guess what He answered my prayers!!!

Which brings me to my life now.  I ended up coming to South Dakota a few weeks sooner then I had planned and it all happened so fast.  There is so much I did not get done, and honestly I didn’t get to say goodbye to most of my friends there.  But there is a cool story in the timeing of things that I will tell at a future date!   Mom and I really haven't started on  many of her projects.  But honestly I needed the first few weeks to just start feeling better.  It was a real success to stay awake past 8 pm.  Now I can get to 10 or 11!!!  And mom’s body, and doctors were trying to figure out a low dose of Chemo to keep her on that did not have her feeling sick.  So we were quite a low key pair!  

I really did not start the job hunt until late January.  I could easily go to one of the factories in the area and find a decent paying job, but in this season I need my schedule to be flexible.  If at all possible I want to go to appointments with my mom.  And when her dose is figured out and they get into a system where she can have a month or so between appointments I am hoping she and I can do some traveling.  Namely out to Michigan to see my brothers and his girls.  So I have a few applications out but sadly to places not yet hiring like the grocery store and gas station.  However I also have a few out to day care centers, the library and potentially the school district.  So please pray for work to come along and provision as I have exhausted what little was in my savings account and might have 40 bucks to my name.

 In the meantime one job sort of found me.  

A few weeks after getting here mom was invited to a class on Essential Oils.  I was interested in going so we both went.  The lady sitting next to us knew a lot about mixing the oils for certain symptoms so we arranged to get a vial for headaches and one for heartburn for my mom.  (both have worked great by the way and mom even got a third for coughs!!!)  I told the lady I had recently started looking into oils and would like to learn more.  I also mentioned I would be in the area until summer or fall and was hoping to find work.  She offered to sit down with me at anytime and help me learn more about the oils and how to mix them for peoples needs and also suggested I stop by the local vet clinic and talk to her husband about a job.

So on Saturdays I help out at the clinic and potentially another day or two during the week as needed.  So far I am really enjoying it.  I like animals and I am learning a lot I just never knew about the medical side of critters.  Both the Doc and his wife are great about answering questions and it’s all pretty knew to me.  I am still waiting to hear on a second part time job, but I am spending more time writing and that is good! Mom and I have also started tackling a few of the easier things on her project list. And I have gotten to get more involved in my church here locally.  I have really missed that!!!   Last week and Tuesday of this week were and are measuring kids feet at the local schools for a company that is donating shoes.  I guess my experience at Sierra in the Shoe Department has come in handy.
Image result for measuring feet

I am in good company, wasn’t D. L Moody a shoe salesmen before he heard the call of God to preach the gospel?  And Gladys Alyward was commissioned by the Emperor of China to go into the villages and unbind the girl’s feet.  Doors to preach through out rural China, as well as minister to the Emperor came through her willingness to say yes.

So often in scripture we can see the pattern of God opening incredible doors as people just moved forward in obedience.  And often amazing fruit-fullness came out of what looked like an interruption to the agenda or even a wrong step.  I don’t know what the future holds and life has definitely taken some unexpected turns but I know for a fact that My God has great plans in store for me!!!  As He does for you as well.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

The Driving Urgency of God



This year I decided to read Chronologically through both the OT and the New.  Reading Mark chapter 1 the other day two things I had never noticed before stood out to me.  

Were all familiar with how after Jesus’ baptism the Holy Spirit led Him into the wilderness to be tempted and tested over a 40 day period.  That passage has always proven a comfort when I am going through a hard test or trial.  It is easy to think that God only wants to give us good gifts and so when bad things happen all we need to do is take our authority and rebuke the devil.  Frustratingly ,  that just doesn't seem to solve things as quickly as we would like.  Often when challenges arise I assume this obstacle needs to end “chop-chop” cause it can’t possibly be the will of God…but then the struggle drags on or comes back over and over again.  Then this verse comes to mind and I am reminded that it was not satan who led Jesus into the dessert to be tempted, but the Holy Spirit.  Maybe instead of yelling at the enemy when things seem to start hitting the fan, I should stop, take a deep breath and ask “Holy Spirit are you teaching me something in this moment?  Papa is there a bigger picture at play here then what I can see?”  Now that does not mean we just stay in the misery of a bad moment, under the misconception that God sent the suffering therefore it is His will for our life and we ought not resist it.  We still have the authority to command the mountain to be moved, the disseas to be healed and release the answer to come forth.  God has equipped us with all we need, and He has won the victory already at the Cross.  He has made available to every Child of God the weapons of our warfare and it is His desire to train us to use those tools and our authority skilfully. That we may see God move us into victory.

Although I have read the book of Mark multiple times, I must have always glossed over this one particular phrase.   It does not say the Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness but that the Spirit drove Him.  Now there is a big difference between leading and driving.   You can walk in front of horses, lambs or even your dog and expect them to trustingly, lovingly follow you with an eagerness.  Leading conjures up images of gently going before making a path that is easy to follow.  The one doing the following actually wants to go with the leader and is zealous to draw near.  

"a dusty view" helping a friend to gather and move
his herd in the spring or early summer of 2015
The idea of driving someone is forceful.  You drive and push cattle from behind.  You get in their space,  make them eager to move forward away from the pressure you are applying. Now you can drive animals slowly, letting them take their time as needed to get to where you are going…but it is never fully peaceful for the one being driven.  They can’t stop at will, lie down and take a rest without fear of the pursuer catching up to them and bullying them into moving again.   Sometimes you have to be aggressive even a little loud if the cattle, horse or whatever/whomever you are driving is particularly reluctant.  Nobody likes to be pushed into something.  Animals may need to be driven but they don't love it even if things are kept at a slow pace.  There is a always just a little bit of fear and dread or annoyance involved- even a feeling of not having any control over the matter.


Reading that the Spirit Drove Jesus into the wilderness for this 40 days of testing and trial paints a completely different picture in my mind.  I have often felt driven by circumstance maybe even God into a path I did not want to take at the time.  

Curious I looked up the word.  In Greek it is the word Ekballo.  I had no idea.  This is like one of my favorite Greek words!!!! I use it a lot when I talk about or pray for missions.

The word Ekballo is used when the Bible says Jesus drove or cast out demons.  It is a forceful word that means God, by His power thrust out the unwelcome spirit. They had no choice in the matter they had to leave.  Ekballo is used when Jesus told the the disciples to Pray that the Lord would send (ekballo) laborers into His harvest fields.  When the Lord sends us, we really have no option but to go.  Often that is a prayer I pray over myself.  

“Lord, Ekballo me into the harvest field You have called me to.  
Catapult me into the destiny and plan You have for my Life.  
Show me where, ‘cause my heart is eager to cry “Here I am Lord, send me!!!”

The second thing that caught my eye was how frequently Mark used the phrase “immediately”.  How did that never jump out at me in the past?  Seven different times in the first chapter alone we read the word Immediately.

Speaking of Jesus during His baptism and immediately coming up out of the water…”  “Immediately the Spirit drove Him into the wilderness”
“They immediately left their nets and followed Him.” was the response of Simon and Andrew to Jesus’ call.  

Three other instances in this passage we read phrases like “as soon as” or “at once”.  Although translated slightly differently their meaning is the same and in Greek the word Euthos is used consistently.   So 10 x in a single chapter Mark uses a word the translates Right Now!!!  Apparently the phrase will be used around 40 times in the entire Gospel of Mark.

I have often admired the disciples and their immediate response to leave all else and follow Jesus.  How well did they know Him?  What had they heard about Him that would cause them to leave family, home, career, community?  They left everything they knew and loved to follow some itinerant teacher into an unknown future.  They don’t seem held back by all the rational questions they surely should have asked.  “Who does this guy think He is?  Where will this road take me?  How will I be provided for?  Can this man really teach me all I want or need to know  What will my family say or think?”

This entire chapter depicts a total and complete surrender in those who chose to follow Jesus.  And In Jesus we see a real urgency to be about the Father’s business.  We see His compassion and His drive.  In all involved in this chapter we see nothing lazy, half-hearted or apathetic.  There were no luke-warm decisions or reluctant commitments.  Just as Jesus and those first followers stepped into this journey holding nothing back, the same should be said for us!

We ought to be living completely abandoned to God, surrendered to Him over all else, attentive to His leading and passionate for what matters to His heart.  I am not there yet, but I want to be, don’t you?


Lord, help me to be attentive to the things on Your heart,
eager to go after You and what matters most to You!


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Exploring a New Bible


I am both a visual and hands on learner.  In High-school I discovered that if I physically underlined the info I was reading in a bright highlighter it would stick better.  When I could not underline the info due to it being in a text book I rewrote it in a note book pretty much verbatim.  When I took notes in class I also doodled and made designs, and these images helped to cement the new material into my mind and memory. 

As you can see this has carried over into how I study my Bible.  My Bible is highlighted, underlined and marked in a wide variety of colors and each color stands out as something significant to me.  I make notes in the margins, in the gaps between paragraphs and in the white space as I find a need.  In last two years maybe I even started to sketch little images sometimes nothing more then a stick figures to remind me of something I learned about the passage or a sermon heard over the passage.   This practice has helped me to commit much of God’s Word to memory and I can draw upon it as needed.  However I don’t recall a verse or passage  in the normal wayby its book and number, nearly as much as I can see the array of the colors I have highlighted on the page.  
 “There is a promise in the New Testament marked in Purple, and the verses right below it are in lime green cause they are a prayer, while on the opposite side are some favorite verses on how to walk in blue, warnings against sin in pink etc, etc. 

I relish reading the Bible in various translations.   So often you get to glimpse a familiar passage in a completely new light!  Still, I always go back to the the NKJV as that is the bible I owned soon after accepting Christ and therefore that is the Bible I first read and started committing to memory.  For me it always sounds better in that version then in other versions; it feels most like “Home”.  

For Christmas I bought myself a new Bible.  It had wide margins with lines meant for taking notes or illustrating.   I have been exploring my artistic side, recently and I thought I would fill those margins with pictures and artsy lettering.  I forgot how short my attention span is for things like that.  Besides my heart and inquisitive mind took over and I soon found I could fill the whole margin with notes, ideas and even partial teachings to share with others.  Funny how I now more room then I have ever had before to make observations and yet I often find I am running out of room to write.  I guess it is like women and big purses. 

Personally, I have never understood the appeal of lugging around a large and bulky purse. I see one so large and think how could you ever need that much stuff?   Yet the ladies I know who own them, have them filled with things they find essential.  In a restaurant once my Grammy pulled scissors out of her purse to trim a straw shorter for one of my little brothers.  One friend kept granola bars and a small bottled water for her kids when they were close to a melt down from hunger.   I have seen sewing kits, band-aids and books pulled out to kill time.  , partly cause I have never felt the need to take the Kitchen sink on any outings...but truthfully I am afraid I would find essentials to fill it and then I would need a larger handbag....wait how did we start talking about purses?  Weren't we discussing the Bible?  Sorry for the random tangent.  It wont be the last I am sure.  It's like my friend Kayla....... No, back on topic!

  There is a real thrill to taking a Bible with its plain white pages, that has not yet been read and making them mine, marking them.  Is this normal? Or am I a bit strange?
God's Rainbow - Genesis 9
I will never win any awards for penmanship! 
and how does one manage to spell Egypt Eggipt?
I am seriously running out of room for writing???


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

What to Do with Snakes

I’m staying at my mom’s place for the next few months helping her out with a few projects.  The other morning I was sitting at a desk set up in a spare bedroom.  When out of the corner of my eye and directly behind and above me no less I see and hear a mouse trap rustling.  Looking up I can see the cardboard sticky trap as it seems to move precariously on the shelf above.  I could just imagine that mouse who must have been only partly caught tumbling onto myself or the desk.  I really am not a fan of mice and so in moment I was up the stairs to recruit help.  My mom has never really feared mice or if she did she has had a lifetime of hiding it.   So she grabs some gloves and follows me to the basement.  

As we stand staring at the shelf trying to figure out if the mouse was still there, I notice this black pipe protruding down from the crawl space above.  In a nano seconds my mind comes to the conclusion I have never seen this pipe before, and that wiggling box from earlier had moved with the a serpent like rythem.  Leaning around my mom who was near the shelf I am staring at the pipe and breathing out a curse word I say with horror. “$#!@, I think it’s a snake!”  and in moment we both saw that indeed it was and somehow retreated up the stairs in double time!!

The story goes on how we bravely came up with a way to grab it, but fear overtook us both and we could not do it. After a few phone calls a neighbors farm hand came to our rescue.  It was in those moments while mom was up calling neighbors for help that I  stood vigil at the door.  I making sure I could see where the vile little serpent  was should he tumble from his hiding place to the shelf or worse yet the floor below.  A snake loose in the house is much worse if you don’t know where he is.  Alone, standing guard. I remembered that a long time ago I wrote about a snake story I had heard on the radio.


What to Do with Snakes.


I was headed towards Sioux Falls, SD listening to an oldies station.  When on the radio some guy started to talk about snakes.  “Did you know the most common phobia in America is the fear of snakes?”  The man’s voice asked.   I had always thought the most common fear was public speaking, but a fear of snakes makes sense.   I was relived to hear it wasn’t a fear of  hearing the sound of balloons popping or a fear of condiments!  I have actually met a few people now, who are afraid of things like hearing a balloon burst, mustard or  mayonnaise….it’s really hard to know how to be a good friend when all I really want to do is ask them why they fear this substance while slowly spreading it onto a sandwich…I’m kinda mean spirited I guess.    

The radio persona went on to give an account of a guy who found a snake in his basement, panicking the fella doused the snake with kerosene, lit the creature on fire and burned his entire house down.  All out of a fear of snakes.  

Now I have to admit I understand about being afraid of snakes.  I hate them!  In fact the only person I have ever punched was over a snake.  I was 4 years old at the time.  I had been riding in the back of the camper with my Grammy.   Suddenly Granddad stopped the truck and came to the back, Gram and I listened, wondering what the trouble was, as he opened the tail gate and then the door to our cozy little home away from home.  
“Hey I want to show you something, Granddad beckoned to me.”  
 Trustingly  I jumped into my hero’s open arms.  
“What is it?
  I asked eagerly as he carried me, back down the highway.  Ahead of us all I could see was a piece of rope lying in the middle of the road.   Astoundingly that little rope began to move, all by itself.  Granddad quickly scooped up the tiny little snake.  His intent was to show me that snakes were nothing to be afraid of, however I panicked.  Here I was held securely in his left arm and in his right hand was that awful, little forked tongued serpent.  Screaming and crying I began to kick, punch, do everything I could to get away from that vicious little monster.  It was only seconds before Granddad had to drop the snake in order to keep from dropping me.    Years later I learned I clocked him pretty hard in the nose.  

A couple years later my mom tried again.  This time she wanted to teach my dog to hate snakes.  We had rattlers on our property, so her hope was if the dog and I ever found one the dog would protect me and kill it.  So here we were on a camping trip in the Big Horn Mountains, mom uses a stick to pick up a little water snake and thrust it at my dog.  Only I screamed, and ran away with my pup closely at my heels.  I ran to the safety of some nearby campers and told them how my mean mom was chasing us with a scary, scaly snake

I can even understand the guy who out of fear accidently burnt down his entire house…sometimes you just can’t think straight.  Like this one time my brothers and I were coming home from school.  The bus dropped us off at the top of the driveway.  It was about a football field’s length to the house.  Just inches in front of me I noticed a big bull snake slithering into his hole.  I had no choice but to step over him.  I took about three more steps when suddenly it hit me, that was a snake!  “Snake!!!”  I screamed, dropping my books I ran the rest of the way down the hill, leaving my little brothers to fend for themselves….the funny thing is I had already calmly stepped over and past it, before panic took over.  

After becoming a Christian and reading the account of Adam and Eve I rationalized this fear.  It is part of the curse, perfectly normal.  After all God told Eve there would be animosity between her seed and the serpent’s seed.  I’m a daughter of Eve and therefore destined to hate snakes.  Course then some Smart-Alec points out the part in the NT where Jesus tells us he has given us authority to trample on snakes and scorpions.  

The announcer again asked, “In an average year how many people actually die from the bite of a venomous snake?”  My guess was 20-30, maybe 100 world-wide.  The answer was two, and yet scores of people get injured or even die out of their fearful response to seeing a snake.  I mean people have heart attacks, get in wrecks, run and fall, all at the sight of a snake.  The radio announcer went on too encourage the listening audience to learn to think rationally when it comes to snakes.  To not let vivid imaginations blow things out of perspective, to keep the truth in mind.  He then went on to explain that snakes in our lives could be bills, challenges at work, difficulties in relationships, health issues, etc.  The entire account took only a few minutes then the man’s wisdom was replaced with another rocking tune from the early 60’s.  Instead I turned down the volume to ponder the words.  

Immediately I thought of the Apostle Paul.  Paul was a man who knew his share of troubles.  He had spent time in prison for preaching the gospel.  He had been beaten and whipped for his faith, 8 different times, he had even been stoned.  Three times he had been shipwrecked.  In fact it was during one of those shipwrecks that Paul encountered a snake.  


You see after the shipwreck they had been marooned on this island inhabited by a barbaric tribe.  Paul, immediately set to work, building a fire to warm up the other survivors.  Yet while collecting a bundle of wood this viper, crawl out and bites him, injecting its venom into Paul.  

The superstitious islanders immediately assume that Paul must be some sort of vicious criminal like a murderer and that’s whey the gods were killing him off with a snake bite.  Paul shook the snake into the fire and went about his work.  I have often thought about that…how would I have responded?  Firstly I would have lacked Paul’s calmness and freaked out at the sight of the viper.   Let alone having its teeth latched into my arm.  Other people would have probably gotten hurt as I ran around screaming and in all likelihood would end up flinging the dang thing into someones lap.  

More then that though I think I would have been angry with God, for allowing so many bad things to happen.  I mean here is Paul, serving God, preaching the gospel, and he is beaten, arrested, tried, and tried again.  He is shipwrecked, survives the shipwreck only to be bitten by a poisonous snake.  If it had been me I would have been asking God don't you love me?  Why have you forsaken me?

Yet Paul didn’t question God’s love, or His protection, in fact he didn’t blame God at all.  Instead when that critter latched onto his hand, Paul shook his hand till he shook the snake off and it was cast into the fire.   The Islander’s watched and waited fully expecting Paul to get sick, keel over and die.  Yet Paul did not die, instead he continued serving the other shipwrecked survivors.  You see this apostle had an understanding of the purpose God had for his life.  He was confident that God had bigger plans for him yet and therefore a little ole snake bites was not going to stop him.  He also knew that God had given His followers the authority to trample on snake and scorpions.  

Jesus had promised his followers that as they went out and preached the gospel, signs would follow verifying their message was from above.  Signs such as- healing the sick, casting out demons, raising the dead and that they could take up snakes, and they would not be harmed.  So Paul walked in the authority given to Him by the King of all Kings and he shook off that snake.  And guess what happened, the islanders seeing that God’s hand was upon him they began to bring the sick to Paul so that he could pray for them and Paul  was able to share the good news with them!  Revival broke out all because Paul walked in the peace and joy of the Lord.

That’s what we need to do, when we are assaulted by trials, burdened with problems, weighed down with opposition.  We need to shake it off and set our eyes on Jesus and finish the course He has set for us.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Road Thoughts



One of my fondest Childhood memories would be sitting in the passenger seat while my Granddad made deliveries of fuel.  I wasn’t old enough to go to school and he was getting close to retirement age, but the years between us did not diminish our connection.  He was my hero, and  in the cab of that truck I was awed by his stories, his knowledge, and his sense of humor.  

On those days when I got to tag along with him to work, it was as if we magically became the only two people in the world. On the dashboard a little brightly colored plastic hand waved back and forth to the people we passed.  All the rigs had one, it had the business information for Husky Oil printed on it,  But Granddad’s was different from the ones in the other trucks.  It was originally red, but the sun had faded it to a shade of pink.  My Granddad had cut the fingers off the plastic hand at the knuckles so that it would match his own.  He had done the same with his leather work gloves.    

I was always fascinated by his hands, they like his arms were permanently tanned brown.  His fingers had been cut off in an oil derrick back when he was a young man.  Though I had always been told it was the result of thumb sucking or nose picking.   On his right hand he had 4 stubs and a thumb, on his left he had a thumb, the pointer finger, 2/3 of a middle finger half of a ring finger and not a bit of pinky.  He used to joke telling  people that he was all thumbs.  He was not handicapped in anyway though!   He was a skilled craftsman and even played the piano.  Though in reality he only played three songs that I can recall, Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater, Chopsticks and half of a duet known as The Knuckle Song that required rolling his stumps up and down a scale and hitting the end note twice with his thumb or pinky.  The tune was reminicent of something you just might hear at a circus.  I would describe it to you if I thought you could read my “Droonk-toon-toon,  Droonk-toon-toon” in the same melodious way my memory replays it.”

 In order to peer out the windshield I had to sit on my knees.  Yet even as a child I was mesmerized by the way our truck seemed to devour the yellow and white lines on the highway.  Delivering fuel in rural Wyoming we saw some the best land God ever created.  My favorite route was always Sunlight Basin and the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway just outside of our hometown of Cody, WY.  Truth be told, I held my breath in fear that our truck would roll down the mountainside as Granddad skillfully drove it down those gravel switch backs.  I did the same thing when we went up there in his yellow pick up truck on fishing trips.   Yet once in the valley itself we were able to see true splendor, snow capped mountains, quaking aspens, elk, moose, clear running streams.  Lunch was eaten next to an artesian spring.  The water was so cold, it would sting my fingers, as I held the mouth of our canteen under the powerful flow.  

It’s been nearly two decade since my Granddad Basil A. Underwood passed away.   I still love the mountains.  That same artesian spring is still flowing just as strongly as ever.  I know because I always stop and fill up my water bottles as I pass it.   Most of all, I still enjoy driving down the highway watching as my pickup truck seems to eat up those yellow and white lines.  Things are clearer; life makes sense as you gaze through a windshield.  I do all my best thinking there!

Now my traveling partner is the Lord, and in that sanctuary commonly known as the cab of my truck, car or whatever vehicle I may be driving these days we can talk, and I can hear Him.  Setting behind the wheel, I have cried and yelled at God, when life really sucked.  I have voiced arguments or retold events in my life that my heart was struggling to grasp.   I have also raised my hands in surrender, worship and my voice in prayer.  It is while I sit behind the steering wheel with the radio off that God seems to speak to me the most.  

Perhaps it is the antenna on the hood of my vehicle that enables me to hear Him more clearly.  Nearly every message I have ever spoken in front of a group of people, every serious conversation I have ever had to have, and every big decision was figured out first while setting behind the wheel of a vehicle.  I probably look crazy, driving down the road, one arm sunning it’s self out the drivers side window, my dog in the back trying to lick the wind, and I’m talking away  even using my free hand to gesture as if someone were sitting right there in the passenger seat.


I actually first penned these words nearly 10 years ago.   Life had just handed me a pretty big blow.  I was devastated, and I was angry with God.  Truth be told we hadn’t been on speaking terms for the past several days.  But I woke up early one morning and I knew, I needed some time with my Abba.  So I grabbed my Bible, journal and pen, threw them on the passenger’s seat of my Dodge Dakota.   Told Samson my German Shepherd to load up and we drove 30 miles to the first fast food joint I could find.  On the way there I listened to the radio….I wasn’t quite ready to talk or listen to God.  But after ordering my very unhealthy breakfast I drove to the park, pushed back my seat and began to eat my Bacon- egg- cheese biscuit as I read the Word of God.  Verses of comfort, and direction seemed to jump off the pages at me.  “You’re right”, I prayed.  “Forgive me” I whispered, “Help me to walk this out” I pleaded.    

Renewed I started the engine and headed home.   This time the radio remained off and I began to reminisce about all the conversations my heavenly Dad and I have had, while traveling together.  Inspired I decided, I should write these things down and when I’m old I would publish them as a little bathroom book or something.   Copies could be sold not only at your local Christian book store but at Flying J Truck stops -nationwide.   The cover could show yellow and white lines on a black top, blurry as they speed by.  The title would be something catchy like “Sermons from the road” “Lessons from Life’s Highway” or “Driving with Daddy”.  Maybe it would even have a second title you know the one written in smaller print under the real title.  A summary or explanation of sorts, such as “Revelations From my 4 Wheeled Sanctuary” or even “How God Speaks When the Radio is Off”.  In fact I had several chapters written by the time I returned home….of course that was nearly a decade  ago and all I ever wrote was the few brief paragraphs you have read up to this point ,  followed by two chapters one on snakes and the other on eagles.   Life got busy and I never returned to the project. 

 Life has a way of bringing us around the mountain again.  Here I am facing new questions, new decisions and opportunities, yet plagued by a heart that has been shattered.   I am full of questions, doubts, unanswered prayers and what seems to be promises from God still unfulfilled and I cant see the how.

 Now-days, I drive a maroon blazer with a back seat because my truck was hit last summer (though out of habit I still call my new rig a truck).  My dog, a German Shepherd - Malamute Cross is named Gator.  I am looking at the road before me and seeing several forks I could take, but I am still to hurt and confused by the road of my past to even dare moving forward. 

 What do I do from here? How do I move forward?  Where is God leading me?  

A year ago I shared on this blog that I had 3-4 possible doors that I was considering.  A year later and I have never closed any of them but I have also not pursued a single one of them.  It's like I am stuck, spinning my wheels.  Or the analogy I have used the most when trying to describe my thoughts. I feel like I am a plane on the runway, just taxing, waiting to be cleared for take off...yet oddly I don't know what our destination even is.   At times I think I just want to go to AK, I loved it there and it somehow became home?  Other times I want to get back overseas, there are so many places I love and have a heart for.  And honestly I loved being in Missions...but there's times I am too frozen to consider any door.  I just want to retreat back into my cave of the past year and a half and never come out again!!!   

My mind is always full of ideas, lessons to teach and share with others, burdens for prayer, ministry hopes and dreams for my future.  But this has been a season of isolation, of solitude of having very few people to talk to.  Partly cause I didn't know who I could trust to open up to, I did not want to share in a way that would hurt the reputation of others and so I kept it all in.  And then when I started stepping out of my cave into the real world I was I in a world far from the world I had known.  The people I had met didn't share my values, passions' or an experience they could never really get me. 

Then a snake (quite literally) reminded me of something I had written years before and  in looking for that story I stumbled on this glimpse into the past.  I realized, its been a while since I hopped in my truck and just let it eat up the yellow lines while I talked and listened to my Heavenly Dad.  Knowing I  needed an outlet for all these thoughts running through my mind and heart the past year or more I decided instead of finishing that road devotional project I’ll share on that same old Blog I started to help my friends and family keep up with my adventures as a missionary.   

Feel free to come along!  I hope this proves to encourage and build up others as I share.  My plan is to keep things real,  very real,  you will see the good, the bad and at times the ugly.  But I also am confident that the things God has been teaching me in the past year are relevant and will prove encouraging and inspiring to others and who knows maybe it will help us all to hear God, seek His will for our lives and take those next steps. 

“Come on Gator, let's get in the truck.