Saturday, September 25, 2010

I am not Insignificant!

We leave for St.Lawrence Island in just 5 short days.  A month ago I was excited and looking forward to the chance to minister in this native community in the middle of the Bearing Sea.  Right now I am dreading it.  Quite Simply I don’t want to go.  Where did all this nervousness and unrest come from?  I have been trying to place my finger on it for a few weeks now.  Last night I was explaining to one of my team mates why I was dreading the trip.  “I hate that sort of face to face evangelism, it is not my gift.”  I am not good at talking to people I don't know.”  Anybody who knows me, has probably noticed this to be true.  Get a group of people around and you will find me sitting quietly in the back corner watching everybody else.

So this morning I took my bible and journal and hopped into my truck to drive to one of my new found quiet places.  “I don't get it God”  I uttered.  “Why was I so eager to go a few months ago but now that the time is here I no longer want to go?   Even though I know you said You would provided I am full of doubt that the needed finances will get here in time?  What is wrong with me?”

Than it hit me, I feel very insignificant!  I feel utterly useless as if I have nothing to add to this outreach or this community.  I have forgotten who I was created to be.  5432

I am the daughter of the King of all kings.  I am His treasured Jewel, precious in His sight.  I  am a woman of influence and authority.  I am loved by my Daddy God.  I am not going into this village as a nobody.  I am going with my Heavenly King into a land that belongs to Him to reconcile a people He loves dearly unto Himself.  I go empowered, sealed and confirmed by His spirit.  I am royalty, and I go as an ambassador an official of His Kingdom.  I have authority, wisdom, power and love at my disposal.  I am not insignificant! 

The Truth of God’s Grace humbles a man without degrading him & exalts a man with out inflating him.”

- The Supernatural Ways of Royalty 

written by Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton

Thursday, September 23, 2010

God is so Good!!!!

 flight with Jim Lawler 002 Man what an incredible view.  God gets to see this all the time.

These are some photos of my first ever flight in a little plane with Jim and Ruth Lawler. 

flight with Jim Lawler 003flight with Jim Lawler 007 flight with Jim Lawler 009flight with Jim Lawler 010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Talking to teens about not giving up on Life

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Well by far the most recent news is we just returned from an outreach week to Soldovia, AK. It is a short ferry ride across the bay. The village is relatively small, but beautiful...especially when the fog lifted a few hours each morning and we could get a glimpse of where we were at. Personally I think the morning fog lift was a bit significant and representative of the purpose of our visit.

We (the YWAM team) partnered with a ministry called Carry the Cure, (check out their website www.carythecure.org ) who was invited by the Tribe to come in and talk in the schools about the simple fact that life is worth living! (They have had problems with cutting and suicide) We were there three days with a band of very talented musicians!!!! The first day the musicians held musical workshops in the school….that night we played basketball in the open gym with a few of the kids and then set up the stage and equipment. The next day we held a school assembly, where we talked to the kids about suicide being a permanent solution to a temporary problem. They played some games, sang some rock tunes and encouraged the kids that they were all unique and had a rhythm of their own, (as illustrated with them beating on garbage cans, brooms, a regular stomp session!!) but they had to promise not to stop the rhythm of their lives.

That night we invited the kids to come back for more music, more games, and more stories. They brought their families, people from the community came…the music was loud and the message of hope expanded on from the afternoon session. For Jesus is the source of True HOPE.

(Thursday) Today was our last day in the village, it was harder in some ways, in the morning we went to the high-school English class and talked to the kids about what they can do to prevent suicide. How they can recognize when it is a risk, and strategies they can apply in talking to their friends when they see they are at risk. We also talked about cutting….in such a small class I was surprised to see the scars on so many of the teens arms and legs. In the

afternoon they held a workshop for the middle grades on bullying. Afterwards one of the moms/leaders in the community shared with us the story of what prompted the tribe to invite us in….I don’t want to bog you down with the story cause I am still a bit overwhelmed by the sorrow of it…but pray for the youth of Soldovia both the white and native kids. Pray they find love and acceptance and hope in Jesus. Pray for the adults of the community, the parents, teachers, elders of the tribe, that they will know how to encourage those kids to pursue their God given purpose and to LIVE Life.

I just got a call this afternoon (Friday0, telling me that one of my relatives had committed suicide this past week. I am a bit in shock……while I was working with Carry the Cure and sharing with kids that life is good, they are valuable and suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, someone else I know gave up. Here is the thing I have been there, I have felt so overwhelmed by life that death seemed to be the only possible solution. Like those kids who cut themselves to deal with the pain in their lives, I too have inflicted bodily wounds to take pain from the inside and put it on the outside where it was easier to deal with (Punching walls) I found breaks, bruises and bloody knuckles easier to deal with then hurt, fear, betrayal….and often when I could feel the pain easing up so that it didn’t hurt to move my hand anymore I would go out and do it again. (much of two-three years of my life I walked around with sore hands)

I guess I share this so you know that I do understand, I have been to the bottom of the pit….if your there, don’t give up!!!! Find someone talk to them about what is weighing you down. You may feel like your drowning, grab hold of the life preserver, call for help, talk to people it helps!!! If you see someone struggling reach out, give them a hug, tell them you care. Suicide is 100% preventable.